Friday, May 27, 2011

Katiedid confess. {1}

To you my lovely little blog followers...
{All 15 of you.}

That I am not perfect.
I continuously work on aspects of myself to make me a better person. 
My marriage is not perfect.
We have our occasional arguments and tough days like every married couple.
My family is not perfect.
We have our struggles like every family.
TRULY, NO ONE IS PERFECT. 
And I can not stand people who pretend they are. Who's life is all smiles ALL the time?
Not mine, and not yours. If you try convincing me it is...I know for sure IT IS NOT. 
And this blog is not intended to convince you {or myself} otherwise.

So, I have developed this little "confession" series that I will be continually adding to.
These confessions may be inimate, unknown items about myself.
Or fun, funky, and completely random facts about me.
So here I go...

{Confession #1}
I quit chose to leave my first REAL job last week.
I hate the word quit because I am totally not a "quitter."
I do not believe in quitting.
I believe in making things better.
And if everything can be made better, why quit?

Leaving the job that has taught me invaluable lessons, tested every ounce of patience I possess, and made me feel every emotion possible was an EXTREMELY difficult decision.
So difficult only my husband knew about this decision until the day before I made it official.
I still have not told many of my old co-workers for the simple reason that I don't like good bye's.
Forgive me.
{They make me super sad.}

So here is the explanation.
For the past year I have been juggling graduate school, clinic work, 2 part-time nursing jobs, and becoming a part-time wedding planner for a precious family friend.
Add trying to be a loving, cleaning, grocery store shopping, social agenda meeting wife and fun, faithful, sweet daughter and sister on top of all of that.
BUSYNESS.
{Am I asking for pity? Not for a second.}

Every day I get phone calls and emails about my availability, scheduling, various inservices/compliance issues I need to take care of, along with the typical school, family, and friend time requirements.
Needless to say, each day was packed with things I needed to attend to.
I started feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and being pulled in all different directions.
Deciding to no longer work at the place I spent the least time in the past year just made sense.
Yet, it was the HARDEST decision to accept.
{I am not big on "change" either if you haven't noticed.}

I love being busy, helping others, and making a difference.
Hello, ER nurse.
But, I needed a little break in one area of this craziness.
It is not easy for me to admit I can't handle EVERYTHING on my own.
But, I guess...Who can really?

Unfortunately, leaving this wonderful place will mean no more laughs like this.


Smiles like this.

Orienting baby nurses like this.

Working with amazing people like this.

Having Christmas's parties like this.

Seeing my name daily on this.

Or having the awesome experience of saving lives side-by-side with this outstanding chick.

However, I have faith this picture will still be popping on emails and brochures. 
{That makes me smile at least.}

Oh goodness, I will miss everything single thing about this place. 
The one-of-a-kind co-workers. 
{Each of you are oh so sweet in your unique way.}
The fantastic doctors.
{I would trust my own life with each of you.}
The BEST Skinny Vanilla Latte making lady in all of America. 
{Thank you for shocking me into life each morning.}
The nasty break room.
{I ate in there maybe 3 times throughout my whole career. I will miss the sickness though.}
Checking the front/crash rooms. 
{The love, hate, oops I "forgot" to check you relationship we held.}
My Spectralink phone ringing just when I got into the bathroom for the first time in 10 hours.
{Never fails.}
The infamous rail/train rides to and from the one and only Smithlands.
{You never know who or WHAT could be standing next to you and breathing on you.}


Thanks for teaching me, raising me, and guiding me to be the nurse I am today. 
{Steph, you "take the cake" for teaching me everything I know. Love you.}

Thank you for making it through this first confession!
{I sure hope you make it back for more.}

2 comments:

Stephanie Garee said...

I have a little tear in my eye...

You're leaving and I'm leaving... and it kind of sucks.

Love you! You're a fabulous nurse and a beautiful person.

And if some preceptee ever tells you to check on the sleeping man in room 5...think of me. <3

Kristin said...

Haha sleeping man in room 5.... (smile) Love you Katie you are an awesome nurse!